This time it detected my storage correctly in there, but I pressed the key to "reset to default" anyway.
I tried again, this time making sure the USB stick was plugged in before I rebooted, instead of plugging it in after. I rebooted and went into my BIOS and tried to open the device information for my USB storage device. Then I got a wild urge to try something else. I had previously tried unplugging and replugging it, switching ports, rebooting, reformatting the USB stick, installing drivers, downloading and running promised snake oil cures from a variety of shady software sites suggested in various forums. I inserted USB stick, encountered all the usual issues (can't format, 0B size, "there is no media in the device," etc.). I was able to overcome the problem in a marvelously derpy way though: I ran into the same issue, but none of the proposed solutions fixed it. I've seen this reposted in a LOT of places:
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